TNDC looks for a hookup
by - Ethan Meyer	Victor's. Just the name conquers up an image of late night rendezvous and devilishly lecherous behavior. But is this really deserved? Thursday Night Drinking Club decided to take a chance on spontaneous romance and see if there is truth to the legend. The verdict? In a word, Yes.
Ask any of Milwaukee's more nocturnal citizens about Victor's and the answer is usually the same:
If you are looking to meet someone new, tonight, for basically... well anything, this is the place to go. So naturally this was right up our alley.
Victor's is a long time hot spot in Milwaukee's bar/club scene. Located near the intersection of Van Buren and Juneau, the inside has a dark inviting feeling, like jet black plush. Walking through the door feels a little like realizing some unknown guilty pleasure. Past the door, be seen by stepping up for a drink at the generous bar or duck into one of the booths to watch the evening unfold. If your night is at all like ours, soon enough you'll have company.
My first notable impression of the night was everyone's appearance. TNDC newbies & regulars alike seemed to step up their game instinctively like Milwaukee county zoo peacocks preparing for a mating dance. Clothes came out that you'd expect for an episode of 'The Bachelor'/'Bachelorette'. Definitely not 'Are you Hot?' level, but notably above your average local watering hole.
Then, to help set the mood and to heighten the pheromone filled atmosphere, TNDC issued all it's guests a bevy of pick-up, excuse me 'vic-up' lines. For example:
- "Do you mind if I stare at you up close, instead of from across the room?"
- "Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?"
- "You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime."
- "If I pet you, would you follow me home?"
- "Do you wash your panties with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them."
- "So, are you going to give me your phone number, or am I going to have to stalk you?"
- "So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?"
- "Hi. You'll do."
Admittedly, all these lines are crap. Except... here these lines actually seemed to work. At least people were cutting the ice with them. I personally witnessed more pick-up attempts than an episode of 'Temptation Island' (OK, so I quit reality TV cold turkey and it's effecting my analogies, cut me some slack). After some time, even I felt a bit like a piece of meat and to tell you the truth, I liked it.
Of course not all Chuck Woolery-esqe love connection attempts were successful. Even hungry lions take a kick or two to the chops from the zebras when on the prowl. Although I’m afraid some players in the bar had more in common with hyenas than majestic lions. After only a few hours, I saw a good deal of desperation. I cannot fathom what Victor or his staff have seen. As Zoe told me, "Well, I liked the shots of Goldschlager more than the lawyers...and I don't like Goldschlager."
But just as I was beginning to loose faith a young vixen confided to me, "This bar just makes me feel like having sex!" Of course, at first I didn't buy such Capt. Morgan fueled rhetoric, but after deeper investigation she actually appeared to mean it. Victor’s had struck. Hot Damn!
Perhaps the brazen atmosphere puts patron's of Victor's in a more receptive mood. Perhaps it's always a full moon at Victor's. Perhaps the drinks are just a little stronger here. Or perhaps, everyone in the club knows the game and has decided to come to play. Who can say?
For those of you who were there, I hope you found what you were looking for.
To those of you who missed out, drop by some time and try your hand at a game of pickup. Or just sit back and comment on the spectacle.
I think one TNDC patron put it best, "Victor's, if you can't get laid here...DAMN!”