TNDC goes on Spring Break
by Club Reporter Ethan Meyer	Damn it, sometimes we all need a break. On a cool evening in March, TNDC provided just such an outlet. All the while making some money for charity. Damn they're good. Hawaiian Shirts, Leis, Tattoos (temporary) and a laid back atmosphere were the order of the night. Added to that were a wide variety of entertainments: cheering on March madness, entertaining the club with 'unique vocal & dance stylings' at TNDC's first karaoke event, mingling with that person who turned your head or just playing the popular 'where's the front door?' game. All this leaves me in an english paper style quandary, where to start? Perhaps with a few memorable quotes from the evening:
"I just finished a test on anatomy & brain function." - a glowing K.C. (probably one of the few attendees actually on Spring Break)
"We must overthrow Saddam!" - Andy
"If I had an alcohol gland, now is when it would kick in!" - Kevin, 1st TNDC
"I don't have any!!" - Kristin
"You are Dead to Me!!!" - Erin M. (Please note the many exclamation marks, denoting both volume and passion in delivery of the quote.)
The evening actually began as people looking for a little socializing and a trip out of the norm filed into Bamboo Bob's. In a surprising move, Bob insisted everyone come in through the back door (insert own joke here) and that's just what they did. As the spring break party heated up, it became clear that there were a large number of NCAA fans about. Whether easing the pain of the Badger loss or cheering Marquette to victory a large group of fans commiserated over a more than significant number of pints. When asked to sum up his feelings on the MU vs. Pitt game, an area man known only as 'Andy' stated "We must overthrow Saddam! He must be stopped!" Emotions were apparently running high on this evening.
The games decided, the NCAA soon gave way to those with a gift of song sharing it with the rest of the patrons. Now while it is this reporter's usual M.O. to leave such situations with all the due haste of a racing sausage, for the sake of journalistic integrity I knew I must remain and provide you all the facts. The 'floor show' portion of the evening opened with a substantial bearded man favoring us with some kind of country tune followed by Pearl Jam's 'Black'. I began to pray for some Andy Williams or perhaps a coma. But my interest was again piqued as the 'Prove your Friendship through Mutual Humiliation' style bargaining began all over the establishment:
"Will you do this song with me?"
"I DO sound like Madonna you know."
"No seriously, will you do this song with me?"
"Will you drink this?"
"Will you get up and dance with me?" from Brandon to this reporter (Shocking I know, though I was looking pretty good if I do say so myself)
To my surprise, I, along with most of the bar was quite entertained by the spectacle and a spectacle it was. Some of our performers actually did have some talent while others got by on good looks and something called stage presence. Next time, if there is one, I want Simon-esque powers, but I digress. There was even some type of on-stage coed competition, the details of which I will not share in this public of a forum except to inform you that it appeared to be some type of sexy woodworking. Also, in a profound gesture of either individuality or brutal honesty, one local man's forehead proclaimed "RAT" in bright sparkly letters, further indicating mischief was afoot. It was during this time and the bestowing of prizes that the evening slipped into the hazy portion of all Spring Breaks when, as Patton once said, "$#!+ began to get weird." I will leave the later details of Thursday night to those who were there. But a few more choice quotes couldn't hurt:
"We have to stop calling it beer and start calling it Freedom Soda." - unknown
"If there is a problem, yo I'll solve it. Check out my hook while the DJ revolves it." - Man wearing visor & sweat suit
"I like this place so much I feel like lactating!" - Kevin
"I don't think there's enough pyrotechnics." - Sandy (No she did not sing Great White's anthem, "Once Bitten, Twice Shy" although it was threatened)
All in all, while not quite adding up to a week in Cancun, everyone got to cut loose, tickle each other's fancy and no one ended up in a Mexican prison (as far as I am willing to report).
For TNDC News, this is Ethan Meyer reporting.